This Really Could Have Been an Email (But Your Meetings Don’t Have to Be)
The moment everyone wonders: Why are we even here?
Let’s face it: many meetings feel like punishment for having a calendar.
They sprawl. They meander. They drain time, energy, and focus. And often, when they end, no one can quite remember what they were actually for. I’ll admit, I’ve run my fair share of these “this could have been an email” gatherings. But over time, I have learned that meetings are not a problem. They are a tool. With the right design, they can be energising, clarifying, and even inspiring.
Step 1: Consider the Purpose Before You Invite
Before sending that calendar invite, pause. Before the agenda, the deck, or even the bullet points. Ask yourself
Why are we meeting at all?
Why this group?
Why now?
Why this format?
What needs to shift by the end of this meeting?
Not philosophically, practically.
I once worked with a leadership team that had dozens of recurring meetings each month. Simply by asking these questions, they eliminated a third of them. No chaos, no backlash, just clearer priorities and more productive sessions. If your honest answer is “we always do this” or “it felt awkward to cancel”, that is a signal, not justification. Sometimes the best decision is simply not to meet at all.
Step 2: Start With an Activator, Not a Status Update
We all know the opening. “Right, everyone’s here, so let’s get started.” Familiar. Efficient. Ineffective at grabbing attention.
Instead, try something that wakes the room up and moves people from physical presence to mental presence
“One word for how you’re arriving”
“What is taking up space in your head right now”
“What would make this meeting worthwhile for you”
These are not icebreakers. They are attention reset buttons and also create psychological safety.
During one workshop, a participant admitted they were feeling blocked by an unresolved issue from a previous project. Simply naming it shifted the tone. The team stopped performing for the sake of appearances and started engaging honestly. That session ended with clear decisions and a shared sense of accountability. Moments like this remind me that presence and focus are as important as content.
Step 3: Design the Middle for Mess, Not Control
This is where meetings often lose momentum. We try to script them perfectly, forgetting that meaningful work is rarely tidy. Insight, alignment, and decisions are inherently messy. Good facilitation balances structure with flexibility.
Design for
Multiple ways to contribute: speaking, writing, silence
Surfacing tension: “What is not being said”
Allowing ideas to emerge rather than forcing conclusions
In one co-creation workshop, someone quietly pointed out that a proposed learning approach would confuse new team members. That single observation reshaped the design of the programme, avoiding weeks of misaligned work. Trying to control every detail of a meeting usually only conceals the real work.
This does not mean skipping the agenda. It means intentionally creating space for exploration, debate, and a little discomfort. That is where insight and alignment happen.
Step 4: Mind Cultural Dynamics
Not everyone thinks, speaks, or disagrees in the same way
Some speak immediately, others need reflection
Some challenge directly, others subtly
Some build trust socially, others through consistency
Working with multinational teams from Sweden to Switzerland, I have learned that communication styles vary widely. As someone who designs narrative and learning experiences, I see how small differences in tone, pacing, and phrasing shape engagement. What feels clear and friendly to me may feel abrupt to someone else. Meeting design needs to account for these differences. For further reading, The Culture Map by Erin Meyer is excellent.
Step 5: Let Real Emotion In
Work is emotional whether we acknowledge it or not. Leading people means leading humans. Emotions will be present, so it is better to work with them intentionally
Ask
“What are we avoiding”
“Where is the resistance showing up”
“What do you actually need from this group right now”
This is not therapy. It is just being real. Often the breakthrough is not a clever idea, but someone finally naming what is not working and everyone else quietly agreeing. In one session, this simple honesty helped a team overcome months of miscommunication, leading to decisions that stuck.
Step 6: End With a Landing, Not a Fade-Out
Endings shape memory and momentum. No more “Okay, I guess we are done?” Strong endings leave people clear on direction.
As my colleague Marius Ketels always says, “Land your plane.” Excellent advice.
Try
“One word you are leaving with”
“What is one thing you are taking forward”
“What are we still sitting with”
Capture decisions, next steps, and ownership clearly. Ambiguity kills follow-through. If you did not reach clarity, name it. An honest non-decision is better than a fake resolution.
The Takeaway: How to Run Better Meetings
Effective meetings do not happen by accident. They are designed.
To create meetings that energise rather than exhaust
Be explicit about why the meeting exists
Start with an activator, not a routine opening
Design for real conversation, even when it is messy
Account for cultural and communication differences
Allow honesty and emotion to surface
End clearly, with direction and intent
Sometimes, the smallest interventions, a well-placed question or the courage to name what is unspoken, can completely transform the outcome.
